AJCollectz

have you lived, boy with seafoam eyes? or have you followed a road with no path have you lived, girl that i would love to be? or have you let your many friends shape you have you lived, boy with no ambitions? or have you thought it'd turn out in the end have you lived? or have you simply existed?

"Ever worried about what the world thought of you?" "Nope. I only worry about what I think of me." "What do you think about you?" "That I am a broken-eyed, converse-reject-wearing wise ass." "Really? And what do you call yourself?" "I call me proud." "Oh." "What do you call yourself?" "I am the grade school version of the heartbroken girl, who can't play the guitar so she strums a ukulele instead, who can't paint so she draws terrible pictures in graphite that keeps giving way." "I see you doing it again. Put the fucking pen down right now and stop it." "Stop what?" "Doing that." "What? I was just writin-" "You're cutting yoursel

"I wish you would give it back to me." "Why? You'll just break it again." "It's my heart. I will do whatever the hell I want with it." "Yeah? Well, you take terrible care of things that are yours." "Fine. Keep it. I am equal parts concrete and soul anyway." "You say that, but I'm not entirely sure that you are. I think you're deep, and fragile and broken, and that makes you beautiful." "Again, concrete and soul. " "I wish you wouldn't make this so hard." "So hard? I'm making this easy. You gave me dreams of half feathered swans and a stupid house on an endless beach and a city made of an ocean, and now you're taking it all away. But a

"I need a favour. You got a minute?" No. No I don't. My heart feels ripped out of my chest and trampled on too often. My ears open to screams in the morning. My eyes close crying every night. My mind always turns dreams into nightmares. My lungs contract too soon for me to catch my breath. My worries far outweigh my years. My brain feels overworked, overwrought, so tired. My stomach cramps every night and I curl up in pain. My knees weaken often but I'm still standing. My mouth goes dry and I can't speak. My hands dampen because I have too much to think about. My bones feel weaker than they ever have before. But I don't think it

They say it's difficult to love someone When you can't even love yourself. But I loved you nonetheless, The problem was I didn't know when to stop. You kept sending me mixed signs Making me dizzy until I Couldn't know Left  right Much less right From wrong. When our world started crumbling down and T e a r i n g  at the seams It was so easy for you to let it fall apart. But I, knowing no other kind of love, desperately clung to the remaining bits, Trying to put them back together. Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly, They kept growing and growing  a p a r t, until your world was only yours and mine a hollow ech

It's always being uncertain because you are always what if, and I could have you if I wanted you. It's the fact that when everybody taught me to say no, no one ever thought to mention that I wouldn't want to. It's that we never even tried, but there's so much evidence we would have been perfect. It's that you could be the One but you're just someone I used to know. It's that I'm a good middle class girl with matching crockery and a milk jug and cookie cutters and you slice through that to the heart. It's that we make our own fairytales and you were never in mine and here I am, here I am, in withdrawal addicted obscene thro

I still miss your smile, The light color of your eyes when you glazed at the sky. Your warm hugs when I felt cold. Your amazing kisses when I was mad. I've really got to say your all I ever had. I miss you every second but you've only made me sad we always seem to have gotten through everything, but this time we fell apart. You held me in your arms like no one has before I felt love and cared We had something so great everything we ever shared Love is two people never letting go two people caring for each other no matter what each day that goes on love grows only bigger realizing only one can be everything. Sometimes I

In my dreams It was me in your arms My lips on yours There was only us And the clouds And the stars It was the world and us It was us against the world But in your arms I could take it Anything the world dished out And with your kisses I was strong again In my dreams it was me in your arms My lips on yours But in reality It's always been her

Your phone bills are smaller now, with no long distance calls to make, and your car insurance reduced to reflect lower mileage and all those journeys not made, those roads not taken, those lanes that you know like the back of your hand - Left, right, straight ahead, right, right - are no longer driven.  You did not see the bluebells wake and spring burst forth in the countryside, did not see the snow on the fields, cold horses in their   quilted coats pawing, nibbling, pawing. Christmas stamps still tucked in your wallet, unused, and fountain pens dried up next to watermarked John Lewis writing paper with no letters left to wr

That day when you tore away from me you left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a pulsing darkness in my chest. And that darkness, it consumed me whole, leaving no traces of the person I once was. I wish that I could shed my skin because each and every cell in my body knows what your touches feel like, and how your skin tastes. But to me, you now taste bitter. And every time I look at you, all I can hear is those three words you liked to hide behind, that rolled out of your lips so smoothly. I should have known then, I've always stumbled over mine before you stole them off my tongue. And I cannot say I hate you, ther